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Top Ten Ways that You Know You are Married to a Cop!

10. When you start an argument, he calls for back-up
9. Refers to bedroom as "The Pokey"
8. Secret desire to see you in a Kevlar nightie
7. Calls farting his "silent alarm"
6. The obvious nightstick reference.
5. You never hear him say, " OH, Man....not donuts again !!"
4. Refers to his you know what as "the ol' Breathalyzer!"
3. Stops you in the middle of sex to ask you if you knew how fast you were going.
2. Handcuffs don't turn him on anymore.
1. YES, that IS a gun in his pocket !
Just another day at church

Father O'Toole was saying his goodbye's to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Martin came up to him in tears.

"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Toole.
"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary.
"Well what is it, Mary?" "Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."
"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible.
Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.
"What did he ask, Mary?"
Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"
Ten Signs that the Police Chief Doesn't like you

1.    He refers to you as "our mascot".
2.    Instead of a gun, you were issued a water pistol.
3.    Your locker is also the broom closet.
4.    The job description in your contract includes "crash test dummy" and "pepper-spray test subject."
5.    He sends you on drug raids - alone.
6.    He always tells you that only wussies call for back-up.
7.    He makes up "missing persons" and then sends you to look for them.
8.    You always get the patrol car with the flat tire, no gas, a dead battery, and a broken air conditioner.
9.    He lied to you about an "officer exchange program" and put you on a plane to Siberia.
10.      He doesn't like to be seen with you in public.
Cop Jokes Page 13.

Really bad traffic stop

"How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman.
The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.
"Aw, come now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious."
"It isn't?" cried the motorist. "What happened to my boat and trailer?"
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