I was working in a medium size city in Florida a few years back. We got a call for a female that was in a wooded area behind a housing development. The caller told dispatch that she was drunk or stoned because she was yelling and screaming
yelling and screaming and was also very naked. Three officers arrived and quickly figured out that she was really a mess and was hallucinating. She was seeing spiders all around her and was just terrified. An officer who had more years on than I did decided to show myself and my rookie partner how to get this lady to a cruiser without actually touching her. He had her point out where the spiders were as we all walked towards the car. When she pointed to an area, he would use a baton type stun gun and "zap" the spider and yell "got em." This was working like a charm…for awhile. As we walked along my rookie partner and I were trying hard to remain professional and we were actually very impressed with the "seasoned" officer
and the way he was handling this. Of course, that would all change. As the couple walked ahead of us, the escorting officer turned to look at us just as he walked into a spider web that was strung near a tree. We had all heard his story of being bit by a brown recluse spider and he had to show everyone the mark on his arm that was still darkened from its bite years later. As soon as he hit the web, he started flipping out, yelling "do you see it??  Is it on me?"  The whole time he was waving his baton and hitting the button. It was a matter of a few seconds that he hit the wrong end of the baton and shocked the snot out of himself. He dropped to the ground yelling even louder and shaking. It took a while to get him to calm down. When he finally quieted down, the female looked over at me and the rookie and with a straight face said "I'm not going anywhere with that guy…he's f****** crazy! We couldn't help it, we had to laugh
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