funny cop stories
funny cop stories
Too Drunk to come up with a better plan

I worked for a small town where we had one two man car out on midnight. We got called to a possible domestic in an upper class neighborhood. Dispatch advised that the caller was a neighbor and could
hear yelling and what sounding like things being smashed in the house. We went to the scene and pulled up dark and quiet just before the house. We exited and went towards the residence where we could hear yelling and what may have been a physical altercation as you could hear things being smashed or thrown around. We both knew the man that lived in the house and he was one of the police departments best supporters and a good friend of the Chief and most of the officers. I looked in the window and saw the homeowner, who I will call Bob, standing in the dining room in only his underwear holding a tennis racket. A bat could be seen flying around in the room and he was swinging wildly at it. My partner knocked on the door and "Bob"
answered. He was obviously highly intoxicated and using slurred speech told us that a bat was trying to bite him. He had smashed a china cabinet, a chandelier, a bunch of lamps and pretty much made a huge mess. We calmed him down and had him stand aside while we chased the bat out. It helped that we left a door open for the little winged nemesis to leave. "Bob" was very grateful. He told us that his wife was away overnight at her sisters and he had a lot of cleaning up to do before she arrived home the next day. We cleared the call and left. The next day, my partner and I reported to work at 8 pm and the Chief was waiting.  He told us that Bobs wife had called wanting to know what we were doing to catch the burglars that had destroyed their house and stole her money that she had hidden in her bedroom. The Chief told us to go and explain to her what had really happened as the Chief had pretended to be busy all day and unable to get back to Bobs wife. I made a copy of our report and took it to her. Boy, was she furious. She went back to her sisters and I don't know how things are going for them because "Bob" is no longer a big police supporter and won't even wave when we drive by patrolling his neighborhood. Talk about fair weather friends.
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